By Pam Martens: May 14, 2012

Jamie Dimon, the red-faced Chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase, who last week reported a $2 billion trading loss at the firm, has a rare quality.  He talks really fast, uses a lot of plain, folksy words, and leaves us dumber than when he started speaking.

Jamie Dimon, Chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase, which holds over $1 Trillion of the life savings of customers: "Just because we’re stupid doesn’t mean everybody else was."

It feels like Dimon is hoping to talk fast enough and call himself stupid often enough that no one  notices that he hasn’t told us a thing we need to know:

Like – exactly how did you lose $2 billion of your depositors’ money?

Like – when will you cut your losses short and unwind this “stupid” trade?

Like – why haven’t you already unwound this “stupid” trade?

Like – how is this different from AIG Financial Products selling credit default insurance, collecting the big quarterly premiums on that insurance to boost revenues, profits and pay big bonuses to staff, then owning up to huge losses that crippled the firm.

Like – why are you allowing “stupid” derivative trading to be conducted in London, 3400 miles away from where you and your regulators are?

Like – what part of never stay in a losing trade, cut your losses short, don’t you understand?